I can't log in to my new HSBC account -- AND they sent the customer ID and Password to my OLD address in Georgia, but sent the ATM card and PIN to my NEW (as of last december) address in Maryland! What is up with that!

I confirmed the amounts weeks ago and got all the info in the mail, but every time I try to log in it says "We're Sorry The service may be unavailable. Please close and reopen your browser and try again. If the problem persists, please call....". So I call, because the problem has persisted for DAYS and I'm onl hold forever because I don't have an account number until I can actually LOG ON! So I wait and wait and wait until I get on with someone who can't understand me and then we LOSE THE CONNECTION!

I have an accoutn with ING and it has been so great to use. I'm very disappointed in HSBC and am ready to withdraw the initial deposit and cancel the account altogether. I don't need this headache!

UGH!

(To an unaccepting, conformist society)

I can't wear my yellow slippers
Warm as they may be
because my yellow slippers
are not for THEM to see.
They're bright, they're old
they're worn clear through
Just like me, just like you,
My friends of old, to bar the cold;
My Knitted socks -- my Slippers.

I wrote that during my freshman year of college (1991) after my roomie gasped when she saw said slippers! I made a point to wear them every time she was around-- and especially if she had company! LOL

Sorry -- cleaning up a bunch of old files and keep coming across this stuff...

I was trying to write my annual Christmas letter. I was 25 and really in debt!

Here it is:
[center][b]
Why I Just Can't Die Today
(Not that I'd Planned to Anyway)[b]

My debts aren't paid,
my bed's unmade,
My desk's a mess--
I do confess!

I've dirty shirts
and rumpled skirts,
Dying plants,
Die now--I can't!

I have to get my life in line-
I've got to have a bit more time...
To clean the tub and file my taxes,
Write Christmas cards and fax my faxes...

To call my mother, sweep the floor,
Oil the hiings on my back door.
I'll start today, I really will
Then you can take me, spill for spill.

But I must warn, if you take me "up there,"
I'm a mess, I tell you, so Heaven Beware!

December 10, 1998
[center]

Needless to say, I didn't use it in my Christmas cards, but it kinda made me laugh a bit today when I saw it.
---
Update related to my recent blogs:
I now have an appointment with a therapist for Monday morning at 10:30AM. Tomorrow the movers come for 1000 lbs worth of stuff for DHs apartment. Still tons to do... oh well!

Well, I called the Employee Assistance number for DHs work (I remember seeing those flyers on the employee bulletin boards everywhere I worked, but never knew anyone who called them). Nice lady asked me a lot of questions and then gave me the name of a local psychotherapist. So, I'll be calling her office tomorrow morning. I just wonder how soon I can set up and appointment. The movers will be here sometime Friday to load the furniture going to DHs apartment, then its the drive over there to unload all that plus what I carry in the car (1000 lb limit on what the company will move for free -- 1000 lbs really isn't much).

Then we'll spend the night over there, come back home Saturday, have a dinner obligation Saturday night, Sunday DH will leave again , and then Tuesday I head to NC to help out sis and bil move out of their house, then drive to DC to fly out on Thursday to Minnesota -- spend a long weekend there and come back on Monday Sept 25th and then that Friday DH and I take off for a week long vacation in NH. So why do I feel overwhelmed? Yikes!

Okay, so I really want an appointment soon especially if meds are going to be prescribed ( and especially if they'd help!). I hear it takes a few weeks for them to kick in and I don't really want to wait to start all that in mid October when we get back from vacation... ugh. I really don't want to spend the whole vacation crying either -- and it happens spontaneously these days.

I'm worried that she'll want to see me tomorrow though and I'd love to make it through the day without crying, but I know I'll cry if I talk about it again. (I did just talking on the phone with the EA person). It just wears me out so much!

Anyway, I have set my alarm for 8 am, so that way I can call as soon as her office opens and can go if she can see me. I just hope I can get some sleep tonight.

Yep. It has struck me now, too. I've been trying hard to fight it, to ignore it, and to ovecome it, but it isn't working.

With DH working out of town full time now, and all the anxiety of an upcoming move with but no certainty of dates except that it will either be before Christmas or before St. Patricks Day. Cross-country. Where I'll be even farther from my home and my family in Georgia.

Where I have no job and haven't had one in a couple of years. And fear of getting a job just to have a job because it could negatively affect what I am offered once we do move and I get hired the company where DH works (and that being uncertain, although quite probable).

Let's just say that living without the lights on for a few weeks probably didn't help much (da*n frugality). Oh, and heredity plays its part, too. Dad has depression (severe, paired with PTSD from Vietnam), Grandmother had mental health issues including but not limited to depression as did aunt on the same paternal side. In fact, all the children on that side suffer from depression. On my mom's side we aren't as sure. Nothing was ever diagnosed anyway.

And now me. It was so hard for me to admit it to my husband. He admires strength and independence - and he doesn't appreciate low-self-esteem or weakness. But of course, he is a wonderful loving husband, and I shouldn't have worried about that, because he knows I am still strong and all of that, I'm just having trouble dealing with a heck of a lot right now. I mean, we haven't even been here 10 months yet! And already to be moving again... sheesh! And I'm the one who really has to deal with all of the moving and financial stuff as he works on the project out of town. He's just beginning to get an idea of how involved it all is. Of course admitting all of this over the phone was difficult too. I don't want him feeling additional stress worrying about this (it's no cakewalk for himeither, being away from me and dealing with all the pressure of a new job), but I need him to know and to be supportive, too.

And he is. He sent me flowers today. He never sends me flowers. Okay, that's not true. He sent me flowers on our 11th monthiversary when we were dating. That was November 14th, 2001. It was so sweet. Of course it made me cry (been doing a lot of that lately). I called his work number, but got the voicemail... he said he had a hard time understanding the message. Oh well, whiel most of my tears are no ones' fault he gets full credit for those. In a good way .

And I have the number for the Employee assistance program so I can get a referral to a service provider here to determine if I just need psychotherapy (that sounds so intense, it's really just "talk therapy") or if I need medication as well.

I didn't want this to be happening to me. I wanted to be strong enough. But I'm being the strongest person I can by seeking help -- because I hate to admit that I am not coping well on my own.

Sorry, I couldn't help it -- that's what the link under my last entry said! Whatever gave them that idea???

Anyway, DH is out of town, so I will go to the gym and work out to try to get to that aforementioned place. Sheesh! But I got YOu looking, now didn't I? LOL

Now I just wonder if Jeffrey or someone is gonna remove this-- it's not my fault --it's some auto-link thing like "what color are your emotions" or whatever that show up on the page...

But it made me smirk, and now, just looking at the word smirk, it made me smirk again. What a funny work, I must really need to go to bed. Smirk smirk smirk...

How did it happen? We knew we were having people come in for the weekend, so how did it happen that I had no real food on hand for them? How is it that I ended up spending more than $100 for 3 days? I know part of it was 2 12 packs of beer and 2 bottles of wine, but even that was just $31 (as I type it I want to choke -- we nEVER buy beer/wine, I had no IDEA how $$$ it was!).

But then we had to have OJ (which I didn't have a coupon for because DH and I don't drink juice), coffee (no coupon, don't drink it), cheeses and crackers and pepperoni, salad, chips and pretzels, chicken breasts, hotdogs and buns... UGH! DH and I don't keep snack foods and stuff around because we both do Weight Watchers. So I didn't have coupons for ANY of that stuff. UGH!

At least I found a few sale prices! DH and I got a refund from our GA insurance company becasue they dind't process our homeowners cancellation for the right date of the house sale. So now he wants to add money to the food budget. I think we have enough of our kind of foods to get by without adding to it. We'll still have enough int eh budget to cover milk, bread, eggs... and we'll just have to empty the pantry a bit of some of the stuff that's been there a while. We'll see who wins this one -- (he'll probably get to put the money in, but themn I won't spend it and i'll get to take it out and put it in savings where it reallybelongs -- so hopefully we can both win!).

Anyway... the weekend is over and I can turn the thermostat back to 80 like I usually keep it and I can unplug all the appliances again and keep the lights off. DH loved telling of all my thrifty ways, but the folks just laughed - oh well...